Relationship problem

Challenges in a relationship and how therapy can help

Relationship problems are unfortunately very common and affect almost all couples at some point. Making a relationship work is often a complex process. Two different people with different personalities and desires have to live side by side and try to be happy together. After the infatuation phase wears off, doubts and conflicts can arise.

Conflict and communication

Differences that were previously attractive can now become sources of irritation. It is common for couples to start criticizing and accusing each other, which leads the other party to feel shame and go on the defensive. This results in bickering, debates and discussions instead of constructive dialogues. These conflicts take a lot of energy and can be broken by working on communication patterns in therapy.

I-message and responsiveness training

In therapy, couples can practice using 'I' messages to express their thoughts, feelings, needs and wants in a non-accusatory and non-critical way. This type of communication increases the chances of the other person wanting to listen as it does not trigger as much discomfort. It is also important to practice being sensitive to the other person's self-message and validate your partner by acknowledging and showing that you have understood them. You don't have to agree, but show interest and listen actively. There are exercises that can help the couple improve these skills.

Managing emotions and low-level communication

Often it can be difficult to have a constructive dialog when emotions and impulses take over. By practicing parking your reactions, speaking low and listening actively, destructive relationships can be turned around and become loving again.

Existential problems and therapy

In addition to conflicts, problems in a relationship can also be about existential questions, such as "do I have the right partner?" or "do I even want to be in a relationship?". In therapy, these questions can be explored to help the person find their true wants and needs that may be hiding behind fears, thoughts and feelings.

Common causes of relationship problems

1. trust issues and loyalty
Trust issues, such as infidelity, can be a major challenge in a relationship. It is important to define the boundaries of loyalty with your partner and to work on rebuilding trust if it has been damaged. Communication, honesty and openness are key to rebuilding a shaken trust.

2. intimacy challenges and sexual harmony
Sexual compatibility and mutual understanding of each other's needs for intimacy are important aspects of a relationship. Being sensitive and empathetic to your partner's feelings and desires, while expressing your own, can help to achieve a better balance and strengthen your sexual harmony.

3. Values and common goals
Different values and priorities can lead to conflict in a relationship, especially when it comes to important issues such as child rearing or finances. To overcome these challenges, it is important to discuss and understand each other's values and work on finding common goals that both parties can feel comfortable with.

4. adapting to life changes
Life changes, such as changing jobs, starting a family or moving, can create challenges for a relationship. Supporting each other and being flexible to these changes can help the couple grow together and strengthen the relationship during these changes.

5. Jealousy and Insecurity
Jealousy is a natural emotion that can arise in a relationship, but if it becomes overwhelming it can negatively affect the relationship. Communicating about feelings of jealousy, working on building self-esteem and confidence, and learning how to deal with insecurity in a healthy way can help improve the stability of the relationship.

In conclusion, open communication, empathy and support are crucial to overcome common challenges in a relationship. By being sensitive to each other's needs and working together to find solutions, couples can strengthen their relationship and overcome these challenges.

Psychologist or therapy helps with relationship problems

Sveapsykologern's psychologists and psychotherapists are used to dealing with complex relationship problems and helping you solve any problems in communication. We have clinics in Stockholm, Gothenburg and Malmö and can also help you via online therapy. Book a free consultation and you will get support to move forward.

Why do problems arise in relationships?

It is difficult to pinpoint exactly what causes problems in relationships, but here are some common factors that can contribute to problems.

1. Communication challenges:
   Many relationships run into problems due to a lack of communication. This can be due to misunderstandings, different communication styles or one partner being more open than the other. Communication that focuses on accusations, such as "you always do..." or "you never do...", can exacerbate conflict and create further problems.

2. Trust issues:
   Insufficient trust between partners can be at the root of many relationship problems. It can be due to factors such as infidelity, lack of communication or suspicions about what the other party is doing.

3. Incompatibility:
   Sometimes it can simply be that two people are not compatible. They may have grown apart, not feel love anymore or want different things in life. Despite the saying "love conquers all", this is not always the case.

4. Trust crisis:
   Infidelity is another common cause of relationship problems. When it is revealed that someone has been unfaithful, it can lead to a lack of trust and feelings of sadness, anger and disappointment.

5. Inequality in the relationship:
   Differences in the relationship, such as economic inequalities or power imbalances, can negatively affect a relationship. It can lead to conflict and affect communication as well as highlight underlying values.

6. Responsibility imbalance:
   If one partner feels they are shouldering more responsibility for housework, the relationship or other aspects of life, this can lead to feelings of inequality and thus cause conflict and relationship problems.